I lost my Grandfather
a couple days back (21 Aug). He has been a friend and guide to me for many many
years and already, I'm missing him in more ways than one. He started his life
in a village Kunnisery, Kerala and moved to Vellore town where for many years
he worked in Mani's cafe, then on to Bombay for a few years to
practice prohitham and finally to Chennai to be with his grandchildren and
continue work in the city. He is an old-school, pre-independence days',
self-taught Man and one with many amazingly good qualities.
Timeliness and Timelessness: His principle is to
be before time for any appointment or event. Everything is planned, everyone
pushed, put into action to be before time so that no one should be left
waiting. Time is a great tool with him, that he never wasted (When we were kids
and used to say - 'We are bored', invariably his reply used to be 'I do not
know what is boredom and neither should you'), utilizing every moment fully. He
seemed to have an inner clock so that if we promise something in 30 minutes, he
would be there in exactly 30 minutes to remind, irrespective of whether there
is a clock or watch nearby. At the same time, he always seemed to have time for
learning, helping others, or to comfort/encourage anyone with problems. If you
had a problem and if you wanted to talk, it is as if he did not have anything
to do at all and would give full attention, time and encouraging words. I would especially cherish the many talks that
I've had in our terrace after dinner, he sitting on the overhead tank and I
walking/talking/discussing my latest projects/plans etc.
Affection: For the 40 years I've known him and
more and more in the last 20 years, he showered and blessed everyone with
affection. Anyone who has interacted with him for a day or two, is touched - My
school/college friends, Nurses in the hospital, physiotherapist, kids, anyone.
Never a rude word. Never saying “I am busy”. He had a wonderful working
relationship in Vellore where he could borrow money from his boss, try out a
venture, close it down and come back and rejoin the same job. Not once but many
times and this was 50 years back. He initially earned this by his service,
affection, diligence and to many reasons.
Perseverance &
Will power: Perseverance has been part of all his life - Surviving
droughts, moving to new cities, trying out different businesses, passing
through tough times. Till his late 80s he would do exercise of 30 minutes or
so, daily in our open terrace. At 91, he had the will power to do exercise in
the hospital bed at 3.00 a.m. If something is asked of him with love, he
will exert himself, through sheer will power to help, respond to the affection.
Learning: Having
gone to school only till 3rd standard, he had an unquenchable thirst for
knowing and learning. Nothing stops him from understanding something at its
core. He studied the Vedas for many years, studied all kinds of books from
great leaders/writers - Vivekananda, Ramakrishna, Swami Dayanand Saraswati,
Kanchi seers, Science books, Mystery books, Political books. During my Engineering days, if
he read about any scientific/Electronic news, he would show and discuss with
me. When he was about 77, during his trip to U.S., he asked me to explain the
internet to him and I drew the various components and explained. When he
was 89/90, he read all 10 books of my sister's M.A.”Yoga for Human Excellence” and
even discussed, argued and praised various portions of the books. If I had
spent a bit more time, I’m sure he would’ve mastered basic internet and mobile
phones, latest technology etc.
Enterprise: Part-time business,
full time businesses, writing to someone in France to import Chicory to India,
Hotels, Selling cloths, many many attempts at entrepreneurship. It certainly
rubbed off on my dad who tried various things like newspaper delivery, Liquid
Soap/Cleaning powder manufacture, Cloth trading, Fitting emergency lamps etc
and to me running a software company. He encouraged and funded my first venture
with my friends - Designing and printing PCB boards for a big Car dealer/repair
shop.
During the last days in hospital, his one wish after discharge was
to be able to help me in my business.
Nationalist: He was a staunch believer in Gandhi
and Gandhian Principles. He had taken part in rallies, meetings and demonstrations.
He had met leaders like Rajaji, Kamaraj, CS, and others. With an acute interest
in politics, He has always been concerned about nation, defense, foreign
affairs. Even a week before, on Aug 15th, myself and my wife took his flag
(Swaraj flag with Spinning wheel in the middle) and hoisted it in our terrace.
He reminded us for hoisting at 8.00 a.m., reminded us to bring it down by 6.00
and rejected our one more request/attempt at washing it (lest it loses its
color).
Action: His lifestyle is lead
with Action. If there is a chance to act, Convey an opinion, or take a stand,
he always did, Ready to raise voice against wrong-doers. When our temple got a
new Gurukkal (he was helping till then), he stood against the new management
committee to ensure a better livelihood for the new priest. At any point there
is no hesitation for repercussions, no waiting for someone to take lead etc. If
there is a need to act, he would’ve acted already!.
Family values: Family, Taking care
of his grand kids, helping out his son and daughter were always on his mind. He
would have a very busy day - Doing poojas in different places, but would
invariably rush back home by 2.30 so that in initial days he can pick us up at
school and walk us home, and in later days myself and my sister will have
someone at home. As soon as we enter, the stove will start. Before we clean
ourselves and come to the table, hot food will be ready. He was the
caretaker, nurse, confidant for us.
Optimism: His life was full of
optimism, improvement, encouragement. No small dreams or wishes for him. All
little girls should be as brave as Indira Gandhi. All company owners should
thing big, take care of employees and keep growing. Every student should think big, Invent
something or do something special for the country. He was always ready to take
challenges including his hospital days and nursing days, ready to exercise a
bit more, ready to try to walk a bit more. He was one elder/senior citizen who
took to the catheter and diapers so nicely. In his words diapers were
"God's gift", mainly because he need not disturb anyone during
nights. Always ready to oblige a smile and share a nice gesture.
Respect for labour: He respected the workers/laborers most -
Asking the naysayers "If he does not do this will you do it?"
Delivery boys used to get something to drink, cleaners, and any labour got much
affection, respect and help. Our servant maid will always get coffee first -
Not just plain coffee, but with lot of respect. The moment she enters the gate,
coffee preparation will start, and before she starts any work, she will have
the steaming cup of coffee on hand. When his hotel closed, he had 6 months pay
due to his 4 employees. He rejoined his job back at 16Rs/month. Kept 2/Rs out
of every pay packet, paid 50ps. To each of them till the due was cleared. He
was very impressed in a MacDonalds in U.S. when he saw a man with tie and
“manager” badge cleaning the tables. He used to repeat it many times to me and
my friends. That was the ethics that he lived by. Anyone who worked got an
extra dose of respect from him.
Others before thyself: He always had time to show concern of others. Immediate
questions will be on the person or something important to him. Nothing vague,
very specific.
How is your company going? Are you getting orders? Are you hiring
new people?
How is your brother doing after the accident? Did you give him
money to help?
How is your father doing? Is he recuperating? How is your daughter
doing at school?
How is studies going on? Study well, that's the one thing that
will stand by you always, in these times.
When we were nursing him, if my dad (his son) or me ask him
whether he feels like bathing today, he replies to my dad would be "If you
feel strong enough and if you can, then please do it. If you don't feel well,
we don't have to have today". For me, it would be "If you have
time, please do it".
When our next door neighbour's baby suddenly fainted, he just
picked her up and ran to the nearest hospital without waiting for anything.
This has been such a consistent pattern that at any time his
thoughts are about the other person, his concerns, his important things in
life, that at some point, we all felt that we don't know him quite enough,
since most of the time he showed the interest in us and our priorities.
Service with a smile: Service was never a chore, rather a thing
he looked forward to. Service
to loved ones, travelling any distance for a small job or spending a small
time, Service to community – When we moved to our current community, there was
no power and thefts were happening. He would participate in the night rounds so
diligently (sometimes with no company) saying “if we won’t protect our houses,
who will?’, Service to anyone who needs help – all were usual and regular part
of his life.
Health & Discipline: He maintained excellent health. Daily exercise for years till late 80s. No strains/stress/pressures. He was strong mentally and physically. The discipline of Food, timings and discipline in everything served him very well.
I am sure I can go on and on. It is very surprising how someone
with a 3rd term studies/schooling can be so broad-minded, so learned and live a
life full of values, teaching and sharing.
He was a super man and Super hero. I hope I'll be able to
gain/practice/retain some of the good qualities atleast in portions if not in
full. That would make me many times the person that I’m now.
God be with you. I am Lucky to be touched by your kindness. Will miss you in this physical world in many ways.
